About Toby
Toby Faye Mailman helps people facing stress, anxiety, trauma, depression, and problems with self-esteem. She works with parents navigating parenting strain and people coping with grief, anger, career changes, or burnout. Her office is in New York and she speaks English and Spanish.
Toby is a New York State Licensed Clinical Social Worker - LCSW. Toby frames therapy as a collaborative process. She acts like a coach who helps people notice strengths they already have.
Background and approach
Then she and the client build new skills to address specific problems. Sessions are usually weekly or every other week to keep momentum and progress. Her approach draws on several evidence-informed methods.
She often uses cognitive behavioral techniques to shift unhelpful thoughts and emotionally-focused work to strengthen emotional expression. She also incorporates attachment-based ideas to look at how close relationships shape current patterns. Across 25 years in practice, she has supported people from many cultural backgrounds and sexual orientations.
She pays attention to how culture and life context shape each person’s challenges and goals. Toby also works with issues such as caregiver stress, chronic illness, addiction, first responder concerns, domestic violence, and hoarding. In sessions she focuses on practical steps and clear goals.
Clients can expect to talk through problems, learn new coping skills, and try small changes between sessions. Her work aims to make day-to-day life easier and help clients feel more in control.
Therapeutic approaches and how they work online
Attachment-Based Therapy looks at how early and current close relationships affect feelings and behavior. It helps people understand patterns around trust, closeness, and fear of abandonment so they can make different choices in relationships and daily life.Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) focuses on identifying unhelpful thoughts and testing them with small behavioral experiments. This approach is useful for anxiety, depression, and managing stress by teaching concrete skills to change thinking and behavior.
Toby will work with each person to find the right mix of approaches. She collaborates on goals, discusses what methods might help, and adjusts the plan as needs change. Finding the best fit is part of the process and happens together over the first few sessions.
Online sessions offer practical flexibility. Video calls allow face-to-face conversation when visual cues matter. Phone sessions can be used when bandwidth is limited or for a simpler check-in. Live chat and text-based messaging are useful for brief updates, ongoing support between sessions, or when writing feels easier than speaking. These options make it easier to fit therapy into work, caregiving, and other busy schedules.
Frequently asked questions
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Specialties and expertise
Top specialties
Also works with
- Abandonment
- Anger management
- Career difficulties
- Caregiver issues and stress
- Chronic pain, illness, and disability
- Co-morbidity
- Commitment issues
- Communication problems
- Compassion fatigue
- Control issues
- Coping with life changes
- Coping with natural or human-caused disaster
- Depression
- Domestic violence
- Drug and alcohol addiction
- First responder issues
- Forgiveness
- Grief
- Guilt and shame
- HIV / AIDS
- Hoarding
- Immigration issues
- Mood disorders
- Multicultural concerns
- Obsessions, compulsions, and OCD
- Panic disorder and panic attacks
- Parenting issues
- Personality disorders
- Phobias
- Post-traumatic stress
- Relationship issues
- Self-harm
- Sexual assault and abuse
- Social anxiety and phobia
- Women's issues
Therapeutic approaches
- Attachment-Based Therapy
- Client-Centered Therapy
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
- Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)
- Existential Therapy
- Mindfulness Therapy
- Motivational Interviewing
- Narrative Therapy
- Psychodynamic Therapy
- Solution-Focused Therapy
- Trauma-Focused Therapy
- Internal Family Systems
- Experience
- 25 years
- Licensed
- New York
- Languages
- English, Spanish